It (inspired by my sister)

The act does not impress.
An ignorant display
The posturing loud, empty.
It makes swagger unnecessary.
It causes fear in the posers.
It is silent in the midst of
Protest.
It moves everything
And stands completely still.
It is barely perceptible
In a slight gesture.
It appears humble
Though so obviously royal.
It can’t be written though some
Try to encase it in creeds.
It can’t be demanded nor granted
And it can’t be taken
But you can give it away.
It has no need of sympathizers
But welcomes all friends.
Its rhythm is played
But not often heard.
Those confident of it
Have never known it at all.
Those that possess it
Can lead no one to it.
Without it you can live
But it won’t be easy.
I wish I could tell you
But I barely know it myself.

You Are

You are
Dark shadow and storm
Rising in frightening form
Full of cold and fury
Bold, making gods angry
Creator and destroyer
Author of horror
Easily inspire
Loathsome desire
Stars burning
World turning
Altered state of being
Sight and seeing
Wicked beauty
For all to envy
Life and death
Divine breath.
My beginning
My ending
Undoing
Heart beating
Heart rending
First love
Only love.

Lent Is When I Say Yes

Lent is when I say yes
Yes, I will have dinner with you
In Jerusalem
Yes I will eat bread with you and drink
Wine with you and I will promise
To never forget you
To never forget our pact with God
To make the world new
To never forget what will pass
Between us this night.

Lent is when I say yes
Yes I will go with you to the garden
Yes I will stay awake with you
And pray
And I’ll hold your hand
And I’ll cry with you
And I’ll scream with you
And I’ll rage with you
Because you’re right
It’s not fair.

Lent is when I say yes
Yes I will kill anyone who tries to take you
Even though that is not your way
I can’t help it I love you
Yes I’ll obey when you tell me to stand down
Yes I’ll follow you and be your witness
Before earth and sky
As they beat you and mock everything that
We mean to each other
Yes I’ll try not to order legions of angels
To kill them all when they spit in your face
But I can’t promise.

Lent is when I say yes
Yes, I’ll scream your name even
If no one else will
Yes, I’ll cry when I see you in a crown of thorns
But I won’t look away
Yes, I’ll beg God to take my life
When they nail you to the cross
But I’ll stay with you
Yes, I’ll try to smile when you look
Down at me and say forgive them.

Lent is when I say yes
Yes, my heart will break
Yes, I’ll be scared without you
Yes, I know I could be next
But I’ll go to the tomb anyway.

Easter is when I say yes
Yes I believe
Yes maybe it was worth it
Yes I’ll tell them the good news
Yes, I still love you
Yes, I know you will never leave me
Yes, I’ll have breakfast with
You in Galilee.

I Have Learned

I have learned to take my time with a poem.
I know now not to rush my emotions
Forcing the feelings out too suddenly
Storming through my pen and
Raining hastily onto the page
Without taking time to feel the pain
Taking time to be pissed off and
Frustrated
Taking time to feel joy and be
Thankful.
I know how to allow a thought to be private
Just long enough so that I can represent it well
In a word.

I have learned not to fear white space on a page.
Sometimes there are no words necessary
Or no words available
Or no description adequate
And it’s okay
To wait
To take my time
To hush my soul
And let the feelings drip slowly
Like blood
From the end of my pen.

I have learned to take my time with a poem.
I know not to rush the quiet expressions of my heart
And to just sit still with a feeling
Until it wants to become a word
After word after word after word.
I have learned to take my time
And there is always time for a poem.

Bus Stop

I swear I can’t resist that smile
That becomes a smirk at the slightest
Challenge, whistling air escaping pursed lips
Right before you say
Man you must be crazy

You will never know the fantasies
You fuel with your walk
Hips that move to the rhythm of love
Making me forget you’re just waiting
For the bus licking your lips cause
You know I’m watching

But don’t mind me baby
That’s just the sound of me
Digging your vibe
I’m just a woman happy to share
This bus stop and this moment with you

Don’t mind me, that’s just the smell of me
Digging your flow
Maybe tomorrow I can share
A moment at this bus stop with you.

Shalom

He couldn’t have known what I was praying for
When the doctors said that God cursed me
Because of my sin
And took my money anyway

He couldn’t have seen how it pained me
To walk or how I had to hide
My shame
For 12 years
Twelve.
Long.
Years.

He couldn’t have heard what the other women
Said about me
No longer having the good manners to whisper
That I’m a whore
And this is why my husband left
why my child died
why I’ve had this shame for 12 years
Twelve.
Long.
Years.

But he knew that I believed
When I touched him
And knew the
Shalom of God.

When I Die

Dying is the hard part
To exhale every desire and dream
Every love and hate
Every memory and grudge.
Better it would be if
Death just comes
Like love
Surprising and complete
Then dying isn’t necessary.

Death itself is a mystery.

But I have hope
Hope that I’ll be free of all struggle
Hope that I’ll be greeted by my ancestors
Hope that Tupac still has voice
And an eternal rhyme
Background for a game of spades
That never ends.
And to those left to commit
What remains of me to earth
And memory
I don’t ask much of you.
Just that you keep it short.
Keep it sweet.
Let one saxophone play
Precious lord take my hand.
Let one person speak
And say only this:
She Loved.

Great Love

The gods only exist because there is one who believes.

So I will take my rightful place in the divine pantheon
Only because you believe
That the mysteries of the moon are revealed
In my kiss.

And when I leave this time and place
I will live forever in the hearts of those who dream
Of a great love

Third Genesis

He asked
Did God really tell you that you can’t eat from any tree you want?
Because he knew she was smart enough to understand.

She corrected him
We can eat from any tree except one
Because she wasn’t one to be toyed with.

He said
You won’t die if you eat from THAT one
Because she was already thinking it.

She asked
You mean the forbidden one
Because she wanted to be clear.

He said
You won’t die, but you’ll be awake
She asked
Awake to what
He answered
Awake to choice.

But she knew that was a lie
The choice was present
Before she ate.
She could wake up
Or sleep forever
She could grow up
Or be a child forever
She could be strong
Or weak forever
She could know
Or be ignorant forever.

So, seeing that the fruit
Was good for food and wisdom
She ate.
And she died.

She died to illusion
And rose to truth
She died to fake
And rose to real
She died a woman
And was reborn a Goddess.

Hagar's Blues

I am the outcast.

You have seen me before
But you don’t recognize me
Or you pretend not to


I’m your shame
Your failure, alive
Walking and talking
As if I’m just as good as you.


Cover your ears, or
You might hear the truth
Cover your eyes or
You might see yourself
I am the outcast


I don’t know your language
I don’t know your god
Yet he blesses me just as
He blesses you.


Praise the Lord
Praise from the lips
Of an outcast
Worthy to be the mother
of a nation.


El Roi sees me
And sees you
Sees you cast me out
Of your family
But you can’t cast me out
Of your mind
Out of God’s sight
Out of the world


I am the outcast
You can’t face me now
But you will
You must
For we are a family
God’s family.

THIS is a love poem

I don’t want love

If I have to wait for it in a slumber
Unconscious, as time moves on
Never becoming a whole me
Only awake to his presence
A slave to his kiss.

I don’t want love
If it is just a ticket out of poverty
And I have to be happy to let a man
Dress me up in pretty shoes
And move me into his big house
Even if he is a charming prince.

I don’t want love
If I have to find it while I’m lost
And in distress
It would be better to learn to slay
My own dragons
Lest I’m accused one day
Of bringin’ drama.
Even a knight would get
Sick of saving my ass.

I want love with a friend
A partner, an equal
A buddy to share the ride
And the cost of gas
As we travel the highways
And winding roads
The beaten paths
And the hidden trails.

I want love that is free
A sweet surprise that costs nothing
Something that feels good
Too good to be true
So good it has to be bad
So good that I don’t care if it’s bad

Love without limits
Love without hangups
Love without regret
Love without caring if
It lasts forever

I want love that
Lets me be
Love that doesn’t require
That I wear a ring or change
My name

Love that doesn’t give a damn
Where I learned to do that freaky thing
I do
As long as I never stop doing it.

I want love that forgives
Because even I fuck up
Once in a while.

I want love that stretches and bends
Because everybody needs room
To grow.

I want love
That comes down and stays a while.
I want love that I can feel
When I’m far away.

I want love
I don’t want it half way, half assed
Or half the time.

I want love that sneaks in
In the middle of the night
And swallows me whole
Taking no prisoners.

I want love that demands surrender
Without a single threat or command.

I want love without judgment.
I want love that tells a joke once in a while.
I want love that holds on tight
Especially when I’m trying to get away.

I want love. And I won’t settle
For midnight booty calls.
I want love. And I won’t
Play games or
Jump through hoops or
Sell my soul
To get it.

I want to find love unexpectedly
Want to trip over it
And fall into it
And drown.

I want love that gives me no choice.
No choice but to
Love.

Customary Thing

Only women
Sisters,
Never to inherit
Flesh and bone turned to wages
Payment in full for years of labor
It’s the customary thing with women.


A slave to birthing
Good hips on this one
A slave to sex
That one so pretty
Brief reprieve
Thanks to the customary thing with women.


Struggle to rise
Before the grinding foot
Dignity saved only by
The customary thing with women.


Breath of God
Rain of Justice
Fall down
On marriage bearing wealth
Children bestowing status
Treaty becoming safety
Ratified at Gilead
Should be a customary thing for women.